Real (Good) News

I don't seek it out, but dang, you're just watching "the game" and it's been a blizzard of crap:

• LeBron bumps his coach... oh my!
• Steve! Johnson blames God... no!
• Derek Anderson dares to smile while losing... yikes!

These stories aren't news. They're negative soap opera crap. I can't understand why they are so pervasive. Even sports channels like ESPN bypass actual sports for this nonsense.

I got lucky to hear the Chris Henry story as a throwaway at the end of a show I was watching. ex-Bangle Chris Henry's organs were donated after his death. Man, here are 8 worthy minutes of video about the wonderful, positive impact his organ donation had on the lives of so many people:

Chris Henry's Legacy Lives On (youtube)

Chris Henry's Donation Story

Chris Henry was a classic NFL screw-up. He messed up time and again during his life and then shit, he died in his mid-20's.
But there it is for you... the silver lining.
it's a wonderful life... yow, bill

Slap!

Huzzah to President Obama!

Obama Freezing Federal Worker Pay

QOTD

"... a slap at working people"
- nabob at the American Federation of Government Employees Union, describing the pay freeze

That fed worker union has 600,000 members in it.
I give Obama a lot of grief here on the ole blog, so good for him on this one.
Next!
yow, bill

It's that time of year...

"I wonder what Martini put in those drinks"

 

It's that time of year
When the world falls in love
Every song you hear
seems to say...
Merry Christmas
May your New Year dreams come true
- "Merry Christmas Waltz", Frank

Christmas must have: Christmas with The Rat Pack
early happy holiday spirit... yow, bill

Surreality

a) Hot flight attendants

This TSA body scanner, enhanced pat-down thingie is a great barometer...
Are you a big freedom guy?
Or not.

QOTD1

"I'm glad to see that many travelers are no longer simply submitting blindly to airport scanners, and are questioning invasive pat-downs. That's actually something worth smiling about."
- Peter Funt (Alan's son), Smile, You're on Candid Scanner

QOTD2

"If this doesn’t change, I see what has happened to the American people is we have accepted the notion that we should be treated like cattle. Make us safe, make us secure, put us in the barbed wire, feed us, fatten us up, and then they’ll eat us. And we are a bunch of cattle and we have to wake up and say we’ve had it…. It’s time for the American people to stand up and shrug off the shackles of our government at TSA at the airport."
- Ron Paul, introducing his American Traveler's Dignity Act (story)

QOTD3

"I think we all understand the concerns Americans have. It's something new. Most Americans are not used to a real law enforcement pat-down like that."
- Janet Napolitano, Homeland Security Chick (story)

QOTD4

"Not if I could avoid it. No, I mean who would?"
- Hillary Clinton, on whether she would be willing to submit to an enhance pat-down (story)

QOTD5

"As always, packing light and keeping careful track of your stuff will help reduce the burden on agents and make your experience easier. So will a smile and a thank you to agents doing their job well."
-Rick Newman, US News nabob... his solution, a smile and a thank you (story)

Of course, one guy can put this nonsense to rest with a phone call: President Obama.
Peggy Noonan (Noonan!) has a pretend conversation about the TSA with President Obama:

The Special Assistant for Reality

If Jimmy Carter was malaise, then what is President Obama?
I don't know.
Uncertain?
Surreal?
It's certainly surreal that Peggy Noonan even has the notion to write a column trying to explain to the president why we Americans don't care much for body scanners and aggressive pat-downs.

President Obama is not a big freedom guy.
He's a big collective guy.
I disagree, but that's fine. I'll just point out the obvious... neither he nor Michelle nor his kids will be traipsing through body scanners or cavorting with groping postal workers any time in the foreseeable future.
surreality... yow, bill

Watch Bristol and Sarah Palin Beat Halibut to Death

I implore you to watch this to its conclusion. Oh, God.

Watch Bristol and Sarah Palin Beat Halibut to Death

QOTD

"She said in her singsong voice, which seems sometimes oddly Germanic, that she was “stunning the halibut.” Not only was I entranced by her awesomeness, but I now have a new favorite catchphrase."
- Newsweek schlub,  Stunning the Halibut

Oh, that ending.
"OK. This is the weirdest thing I've ever held"... and overboard went the beating fish heart.
Too much.
Too great.
LOL.
stunning the halibut... yow, bill

I'm not getting it.

"Stuffed Turkey"

a) Irish bailout
Ireland is the focus of the investment world the last week or so because they are in such trouble that they need a special bailout from the EU. I gotta admit. It's tough to "get" how an economic superstar like Ireland got so screwed up.

I do "get" Greece. Greece is a socialist state with unsupportable government spending. Done.

But Ireland's demise seems to be more like our own and have more to do with lending by their banks. Here's a nice CNN summary:

What does the Irish bailout mean?

QOTD

"Irish banks, like others around the world, loaned money to people who in some cases couldn't pay it back. Cheap loans created extra demand for housing and as prices surged the construction industry raced to build more."

- CNN story

Alas, there are few details/stats in the story. Things like:

• How levered were Irish banks?
• Were banking regulations modified in the 90's as they were in the US?
• What is their housing bust like... foreclosures, supply glut, price drops, etc.

And what are the key regulatory reforms needed in Ireland and the US?

• Should we separate out banks from investing houses, ala Glass-Steagall? 
• Should we reduce the max leverage available to banks? 
• Should all home purchases require a min 10% down? 20%?
• It seems like we should get the feds (Freddie and Fannie) out of the mortgage business, right?

I don't know. Still got me, I guess.
hot irish bailout... yow, bill

Turkeys Away

QOTD

"Oh, the humanity! The turkeys are hitting the ground like bags of wet cement."
- Les Nessman

Excellent.

WKRP -Turkeys Away

QOTD

"As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly."
- Mr. Carlson

happy thanksgiving... yow, bill

Hot for realtor

a) So great
So great to hear any level of rejection of political correctness out there in the ether.

QOTD

"If I offended anybody I'm not sorry, and I don't apologize."
- James Carville, on his recent Obama joke, source

b) Housing market blows
According to these guys, there is a 30 month supply of housing for sale in the Chicago area, where typically it is 6-8 months.
Hunker down, boys and girls.

Hot for realtor. He he.
yow, bill

Stereotype this

a) On-line dating = free-market capitalism at work

There are no socialist daters. Nobody says, "I wish the feds would come in and help me find a hot chick" or "I'll share some of my hot chicks with this other guy." And online dating probably exaggerates this competition.

OkCupid is a pretty vanilla internet dating deal: profiles and pictures and messaging and whatever. Their hook is that they are little more analytical than other sites with their "advanced matching system."

I don't know about all that, but OkCupid has a blog they run called OkTrends:

OkTrends - http://blog.okcupid.com/

OkTrends is full of the coolest statistical analysis of its members you'll find. Now, obviously, all these stats are skewed by the fact that the only people being surveyed are online daters. But taking that into account, there are two big advantages that OkTrends has:

1. They have a lot of data since a zillion or so people using their site.
2. The stats are also probably about as honest an appraisal of some of these topics that you are going to find. These stats aren't created by some pointy-headed intellectual asking people their opinion on this or that. Most of these stats are either innocuous background questions or analysis of how people behaved: sending messages, ranking profiles, etc.

The data and the analysis made me think of Freakonomics, and that is a good thing. Bah. Go to the blog and surf for yourself, it really is fascinating.
Here's a snippet of some of my favorite topics:

• Race and dating: The REAL stuff white people like - I love the word clouds on most frequent words in profiles of white guys versus white girls versus black guys, etc. "Tom Clancy"and "Van Halen" tops the list for us white guys. Sigh. Jeez, cmon white guys!
• Looks and dating: Your looks and your inbox - Guys rank female appearance and you get a bell curve. But then you look at who they actually contact and guys overwhelming only contact the more attractive girls.
• Age and dating: The case for an older woman - Shit, older women are way more revved up than young girls. No duh. And huzzah to that!

QOTD

"As you can see from the gray line, women rate an incredible 80% of guys as worse-looking than medium. Very harsh."
- OkTrends post (he he)

As I read the various broad areas they discuss in OkTrends, one thing screams out: stereotypes! A lot of the broadest, corniest stereotypes are confirmed in the OkTrends stats:

• The word clouds created by race read like a bad Howard Stern bit: white guys love their Van Halen, black guys and their basketball, black women with "soul food" and "The Color Purple"... good Lord.
• Older guys skew toward younger girls, and older women are more sexual than younger women.
• Gay guys don't like sports. More women have "tried out" the same gender than men.
• Looks are everything. Well, almost. They are a huge factor, at least in getting a first contact.

Like capitalism, online dating can be a rough go... especially for the girls. Some of my online dating brothers are rather rude, from what I hear. But it's a real, free experience. You choose to play or not. You choose who you contact or don't. You choose who you meet and what happens, etc.

As in economics, the only thing worse than online dating is not having an online dating choice.
stereotype this... yow, bill

Government annoyed

a) Cool gold

The GLD ETF is a vehicle for investors to buy actual physical gold, rather than some kind of futures contract (DBP, for example) or gold mining companies (GDX). There's another guy, SLV, that let's you invest in silver.

Pretty cool:

• GLD has $56B in assets, making it the 2nd largest ETF (to SPY): www.spdrgoldshares.com
• GLD has 1,300 tons of gold. This ranks it 7th in the world list of gold reserves by country. , behind France and ahead of Switzerland. The US has 8,000 tons of gold reserves.
• The cool part though is this link showing the vault where GLD stores their $56B in gold.
• They even list each individual bar of gold in the vault. GLD currently has 103,491 bars of gold stashed away.

5 years ago, Oct 2005, GLD was $46.40. It's now trading at $131. That's nearly a triple. Cool indeed.

b) Government annoyed

This chick Erin Chase has a number of soccer mom blogs, including www.5dollardinners.com
Well, it seems that Erin Chase got assaulted at the airport.
Read it:

TSA - Sexual Assault (original)

TSA - Sexual Assault (copy)

QOTD

"I stood there, an American citizen, a mom traveling with a baby with special needs formula, sexually assaulted by a government official."
- Erin Chase

One more for you: No Enhanced Pat Downs for Kids, TSA Says
This is a brand new level of fucked up that we're dealing with here... "aggressive pat downs"... "body scanners that create graphic images"... it's not for the kids, just for you and me. Goody!

WSJ article on the TSA: When Rights Get Squeezed
This is dead on... the WSJ describes the TSA and the feds as "annoyed" at the public.

I'm curious as to how we ever got to this point. I know idiot W created the TSA after the 9/11 attack. Anyone who travels see the kind of Post Office mentality that pervades the TSA workers. But when exactly was all this naked body scanner and aggressive pat down stuff decided? And by who? And why does that person still have a gig? And why is President Obama getting a pass on all this stuff?

The WSJ sort of lauds the public reaction to this. I think it's been kind of muted myself. Why hasn't a reporter stuck a microphone in the president's maw and asked why his administration has decided to accost and assault American citizens at our airports. And where are my brothers on the left to criticize this loss of freedom and rights?

QOTD2

"I guess you think you're... you know, like an authority figure, with that stupid fuckin' uniform, huh buddy? King clip-on-tie there, big fuckin' man, huh? You know these are the limits of your life, man. The rule of your little fuckin' gate here. Here's your four dollars, you pathetic piece of shit."

- Steve Buscemi at the airport parking garage, Fargo

Steve Buscemi for president!
he he... yow, bill

Freedom guy

a) Freedom guy

One of my absolute all-time faves from the W memoir.

QOTD

"Let's just say he wasn't a freedom-agenda guy."
- W, on Frenchie President Jacques Chirac (WSJ story)

I don't think anyone would tag President Obama as much of a freedom guy either.

Fortunately, there are crystal clear examples of guys where freedom is the agenda. 

QOTD2

"The years ahead will be great ones for our country, for the cause of freedom and the spread of civilization. The West will not contain Communism; it will transcend Communism. We will not bother to denounce it, we'll dismiss it as a sad, bizarre chapter in human history whose last pages are even now being written."

- Ronald Wilson Reagan, May 1981 (quotes page)

freedom guy... yow, bill

Mister Fuddy Duddy

a) Texting and what not
Two 21st century stories...

Eva Longoria gave Tony Parker his walking papers; he's been sexting some girl (story)

QOTD

"[Tony Parker] has been exchanging personal texts with a mutual female friend for nearly a year -- hundreds in just one month."
-  Yahoo story

Bill Nye the science guy keels over giving a lecture at USC... and the students in the crowd just sit there texting and tweeting about it.

QOTD2

"nobody went to his [Bill Nye] aid at the very beginning when he first collapsed — that just perplexed me beyond reason. Instead, I saw students texting and updating their Twitter statuses."

- A different Yahoo story

Now, I'm not going to go all Mr. Fuddy Duddy on you and proclaim that the country is going to hell in a handbasket, but it is more than a little weird... this hundreds of texts thing. And tweeting is weird. Facebook, novel at first, is complete bore at this point. All these things share a level of brevity or shallowness that is, well, it's even more shallow than this crappy blog. And that's saying something (cough... Kelly LeBrock... cough).

And Good Lord Almighty Sweet Mother Mary, the words "viral video" now mean to me, "avoid at any cost" or "extreme sleep aid". Jiminy Christmas.

What will this constant, fast, shallow interaction do to young minds? You got me. But I don't think that the shift from TV to the internet is nearly as profound as our previous transition 50-60 years ago from reading to TV. And we survived that deal OK.

Hmm.

b) Getting salty

I may not be a fuddy duddy, but I am getting salty in my old age. In the last post, I told some motorcycle helmet nabob to fuck off. And now, Warren Buffet is an asshole.

Dear Warren Buffet... Asshole

That is a great post. Dead on.
he he... yow, bill

Little glimpses of heaven

a) I'm an addict

Fun, silly Freakonomics post on the similarities between parenting and addiction:

The Parent Trap: Addition

QOTD

"The unexpected, kind, and loving things that children do produce chemical surges in their parents’ brains like the rush of the pipe or the needle. Like addicts, parents will sacrifice anything for the glimpses of heaven that their offspring periodically provide."
- some pointy-headed intellectual

b) Please fuck off

Hey, pardon my French, but the feds are never too busy or too broke to tell you what to do:

A Push for Motorbike Helmets

We get the tired, BS argument about accidents without helmets costing more. If it costs more to ride without a helmet, then charge a little more for insurance to ride without a helmet. Please don't tell adults what to do with their little noggins.

QOTD2

"People have to get outraged about this [not wearing helmets]"
- Christopher Hart of the National Transportation Safety Board

Mr. Hart.
With all due respect.
Please fuck off.
It's simple. People can decide themselves if they want to wear a helmet.
did say please... yow, bill

The Trees

a) Dumbest Christmas present, so far

I humbly submit... from some catalog site call Lakeside, the "Drink Holster":

b) Trees

Movie: Trees Lounge
Review: 4 bill-stars (out of 5)... excellent!

Watched an old favorite again last night... Trees Lounge.

QOTD

Tommy: Hey Bill. did you ever kill anybody?
Bill: What kind of an asshole question is that?
Tommy: I mean in, ah, Korea.
Bill: What career?
- Trees Lounge

Trees is a wonderful, tiny movie surrounding life in a bar called the Trees Lounge. Steve Buscemi is the star, writer and director.

QOTD2

Tommy: Nothing happened. We just ended up making out like a couple of high school kids.
Tommy's brother: Tommy. She is a high school kid.

These box office numbers from IMDB are pretty funny:

• Budget: $1,300,000 (estimated)
• Gross: $673,269 (USA) (15 December 1996)

They had to break even from DVD sales and stuff, right?

Great ending... Tommy sitting on old Bill's barstool, whiskey and a beer, surveying the waste of human life around him and contemplating his future.

c) Anti-stories

Negative stories I'm not posting:

1. I surfed into a cynical review of Sarah Palin's Alaska reality show... I haven't watched the Palin show, but the review I read was the kind of ugliness and hatred that continues to thrive on the left. Pathetic.
2. Some online poll of Scientific American readers showing 80% of them doubt global warming... huzzah to that, but online polls are pretty silly.
3. Facebook mania over some new messaging thing or something... I don't get it, the whole Facebook thing, which is fine.

Excellent.
Peace out.
trees... yow, bill

www.teachersunionyelp.com

a) Not Just Obama
Well, my Anyone But Obama (ABO) voting strategy worked out quite well. Thank you very much.
Now, we enter phase two: Not Just Obama (NJO).
NJO means that President Obama and the dems aren't the only problem. We'll run into plenty of asswipe repubs in Congress over the next couple years as well.

The WSJ article talks about how some repub senators are apparently having some difficulty giving up some of their power. Imagine that.

QOTD

"Twenty senators are apparently still mulling over the complex decision of whether to demonstrate some principle."
- some repubs reticent to give up their earmark power, GOP's Earmark No-Brainer

b) Another school reform option
Count me in for anything that shifts power away from the pols and the unions and toward us, parents. This idea is called a "parent trigger", and it comes from California. The idea: if a school is failing, then the parents can vote on whether to turn the school into a charter school or not. Cha!

Radical School Reform Law You've Never Heard Of

Another clue that this is a GREAT idea: the teacher's union hates it.
In fact, if there was www.teachersunionyelp.com, then it would be a great source of anti-reviews.
Here's an example of what the teacher's unions support...

QOTD2

"The average student in Los Angeles has only a 50% chance of graduating high school and a 10% chance of attending college"
- WTF?!?!, source

c) Meh.

Movie: "Megamind"
Review: 3 bill-stars (out of 5)... just barely OK.

This movie was barely worth the price of admission. It pales in comparison to other superhero movies like "The Incredibles" or "Despicable Me". It wasn't very funny and had no heart. Will Ferrell. Meh. Tina Fey. Blech.

eh... yow, bill

Potpourri

a) Some links du jour

Go:

1. Chili recipe that I have to make: Award-winning steak chili recipe
2. You may have seen the lady with the Chicken McNuggets that won't rot. Well, God bless Freakonomics for an answer... for burgers at least: Why hamburgers don't rot
3. I guess money's tight everywhere. Steve Jobs is auctioning off his first Apple Computer: First Apple Computer set for auction
4. I heart Lee jeans. And extra bonus... shit, they're only like $23 right now for some reason: Lee Jeans for men

    
  
QOTD
"The best thing about living in Finland is they don't get Newsweek magazine."
- Dennis Miller, on Newsweek ranking Finland at the "best country in the world", ahead of the USA

hot jeans... yow, bill

To Live and Die

a) A gun like a howitzer, man

QOTD

"Say all you want about Michael Jordan, he's a great fuckin' ball player. But Quintin Dailey's got a gun like a howitzer, man. Thirty feet. Boom, boom, boom. He gets hot, he's fabulous."
- Bill Peterson in "To Live and Die in LA" (source)

That's Q Dailey there taking the jumper. Quintin Dailey, RIP.
BTW, take a peek again at that picture and note the empty seats. Yikes.

BTW2, To Live and Die in LA (imdb)... 3 bill-stars (out of 5).
Fun, quirky movie with an all-time car chase scene to rival Bullitt, which means it's as good a car chase scene as there is.

Here's a really good version of the chase on youtube: youtube part 1, youtube part 2. Worthy!
The movie's 1980's immersion is complete with the Wang Chung soundtrack. Wang Chung. He he he!

b) Wiki fun

The Pacer pasted the Nugget couple nights ago and scored 54 points in a quarter: boxscore.
But that's not the record for most points in a quarter. That puppy belongs to the Buffalo Braves who dropped a 58 point 4th quarter on the Celtics on Oct 20, 1972.
Some wikipedia fun:

• NBA records of a shape and size: NBA records at Wikipedia
• There are two flavors or NFL records: NFL individual records at Wikipedia and NFL team records at Wikipedia
• It's interesting and appropriate that baseball has a zillion different records pages at Wikipedia. You can search Wikipedia for major league baseball records to get started. I heart this one most of all: MLB records considered unbreakable at Wikipedia. Dear Wikipedia, I have a record you missed... how about my Chicago Cub playing baseball more than a century without winning a title!

Very immature I know, but I get a special feeling every time LeBron and Miami lose. Last night's loss was especially tasty as LeBron and the lads coughed up a 22 point lead to the Utah Jazz: boxscore. The crappy Heat are 5-3, with only one win against a winning team (Orlando).

My fave NBA teams:

1. The Bull
2. Whoever is playing Miami

Yeah Pacers!
very immature... yow, bill

Reefer Madness 2

a) Reefer Madness 2
The feds have figured out how to get people to quit smoking. Huzzah!
The answer: putting weird/gross pictures on your cigarette packs.

www.fda.gov/cigarettewarnings

This bogus cigarette warning nonsense... how much do you think this cost us?
Millions of $$$, right?
I mean you got executives, managers, meetings, committees, research, graphic designers, press people, website guys, marketing materials, and blah blah blah...

QOTD

"The Tobacco Control Act requires that the nine graphic health warnings appear on the upper portion of the front and rear panels of each cigarette package and comprise at least the top 50 percent of these panels."
- the feds

I absolutely love this one, and it's definitely my fave:

You know, you'll probably see people collecting all 36 of these guys. They'll probably be up for sale on ebay... "Mint Condition". Maybe the FDA can do something like the US Mint does for coins... sell sets of warning labels that were never circulated. Cover some of the costs of this worthy venture.

Dear FDA, two words for you... "budget cut".

smoke em if you got em boys... yow, bill

See Bill Run

QOTD

"I'm very discreet... but I will haunt your dreams."
- Paula, "40 Year Old Virgin" (source)

Of course, you could reel off the dozen or so "You know why you're gay" jokes as QOTD as well.

Why is watching guys play video games in a movie so funny (40 yo Virgin, The Break-up, Swingers) and anything related to them in real life is so not funny.

a) See Bill run

After my Halloween 10K, I now have good (for me) bogeys at each distance:

• 5K - 2006 Naperville Turkey Trot; 19:46; 6:21/mile
• 10K - 2010 Sycamore Punkin Run; 44:17; 7:08/mile
• Half marathon - 2009 Indy Half Marathon; 1:39:36; 7:36/mile
• Marathon - 2008 Lakefront Marathon; 3:44:12; 8:35/mile

See dork run

I'm pretty happy with this ensemble. Can I run 3 6's in a 5K? Maybe. I'm pretty sure I can trim 8 seconds off each of 6 miles in a 10K. But, these things are sort of... meh, who cares.

Of course, the brass ring is a Boston-qualifying time in the marathon. For my age, that means 3 1/2 hours, or 8 minute miles. That's a problem. I just don't see myself dedicating a summer to that nonsense.

My Plan B may be some nonsense as well. I could in two summers try and win my my age group when I turn 50. Again, seems kind of lame, but we'll see. Yeah, we'll see how lame my summer is in two years. He he.

Speaking of nonsense, how about some celebrity marathoners:

• Subway goof Jared ran the NY Marathon this year... 5:13:28, for a 12 minute pace. Dop. (source)
• I've bad-mouthed Oprah's marathon attempt for years, but I was dead wrong. I don't know where I got the impression that she had a terrible time. She didn't. Oprah did a respectable 4 1/2 hours running her marathon. So Oprah, I take it all back... except for the parts about you selling cancer if somebody paid you. 25 Celebrity Marathoners
• Sarah Palin's 40-something marathon time was 4 hours (source). 4 hot, hot hours. He he. 

QOTD2

"I've never understood the decimalization of time."
-Miles Drentell, "thirtysomething"

run bill run... yow, bill

The Obama Signal

a) Spending is the problem

QOTD

"We don't have a revenue problem. We have a spending problem."
- Some Congress repub

Well, huzzah to that QOTD and to this nice summary article:

GOP on Message: Revenue is not the problem, Spending is

Some pretty good stuff in there:

• File this under WTF - "The average federal employee makes $120,000 a year. The average private employee makes $60,000 a year"
• Revenues last year to the feds = $2.4T. Spending = about $4T.
• "We think we ought to go back to pre-stimulus, pre-bailout levels and freeze there -- there's been an 84 percent increase in domestic spending since this administration took office."

b) The Obama Signal

It's a rare occurrence, but I have to disagree with the editorial staff at the Morning News. The venerable email-only publication continues to hammer President Obama's reaction to the election one week ago. I have to humbly disagree. President Obama seems to be saying everything he can to indicate that he will be Clinton-esque in the 2nd half of his term.

• He acknowledged that cap and trade taxes are dead.
• He's hinting at flexibility on the W tax cuts will be extended for everyone.
• He just gave a speech where he backed off his explicit timetable for removing troops from Afghanistan.

Look, President Obama isn't going to grab the podium and refudiate himself and his beliefs. He's signaling as strongly as he can that he will respond to concerns reflected in the election results. Hey, the guy has one and only one priority: get re-elected in 2 years. It may be a false signal, but at least that's the message that he seems to be sending.

Speaking of not getting re-elected. I really don't know how you turn around this housing and unemployment cluster-F. Just got this story over the wire: A third of Chicago-area homes underwater. And shit, these stats make me nauseous:

• 32.9% of all local single-family detached homes with mortgages were underwater... a year ago this number was 27.2%, so things aren't getting better yet
• 27.7% of homes sold in the Chicago area in September were sold for a loss
• Within the city of Chicago, 17.6% of single-family homes and 20.99% of condos sold for a loss

So, I still say huzzah to the Morning News and its capable (if eccentric) staff. En homage to the Morning News... a stupid pet trick:

Pets. Meh. I must admit. I prefer bikinis.
roger that... yow, bill

The Aspartame Identity

QOTD

"I'm Irish."

- Magic words, especially when spoken by the waitress at the sports bar

a) Glee!

I am a big consumer of Trident gum.
You know, sugarless gum... nice harmless habit for those of us who are orally-fixated. He he.

Well, I'm going to try and switch to some of this fancy "all natural" gum. Glee Gum!

www.gleegum.com

I bought it but haven't tried it yet. I'll let you know how it goes. I already love the hyperactive mascot on the package.

Last week, I heard on the radio someone railing on the artificial sweetener aspartame. You know the ridiculous drill: "it's a killer", "you wouldn't believe how they make it", "it's in every gum on the shelf", blah blah blah.

Well, I googled it around some too and found the same SCREAMING about aspartame. I can't really tell what's real or not. I don't see how anyone can. The one thing I'll say is that every gum at the Jew-el did seem to have aspartame in it. Which I'll admit was kind of weird.

So, there is a general principal that I can apply here. Why bother with some weird thing (that's probably nothing, but you never know) when I don't have to. I've already applied the principal to:

• Chicken - I figure happy, non-juiced chickens make happier, better food
• Flu shots - I've never had a flu shot in my life, so why start now. I'll hit the flu shot racket when I'm old and gray. OK smarty pants... when I'm old-ER and gray-ER.
• Diet Coke - It's just plain silly.

No, I'm not going swishy on you guys. I'm still beer-swilling and charring up some red meat on the grill at every occasion. But there's no upside to aspartame gum, and there's no downside to regular old gum.

b) Magic TrackPad. RIP.

I gave my Apple Magic TrackPad about 2 weeks. It's a no go. I switched back to my regular, old mouse.

I think I just use the computer too much, and the mouse is faster and easier to use. Oh well, it was a worthy try.

QOTD2

"There is no secret ingredient."
- Po, "Kung Fu Panda"

Just Believe!
yow, bill

Sexually primed females

In these squishy times, I am heartened that boys are still gun-crazed manics at heart... especially on Halloween. Ty is Neo and his buddy is some guy from Halo or something, I think.

 "Give me your candy"

a) Jonny V

QOTD

"There's no sense in being precise when you don't even know what you're talking about."
- Jon von Neumann, source

Jon von Neumann is a top 10 all-time computer nerd. Up there with Dijskstra and Alan Turing and Donald Knuth. He he. Here's Wikipedia's List of Computer Scientists, so you can keep going.


b) No sisters -> Better sex?
I don't have any sisters. Well, I have a step-sister, but not a regular, old live-with-you-all-the-time sister. So, what impact does that have on dealing with the fairer sex?
Well, let's ask some rats:

Biology: Sisters vs. Sex

Rats growing up without sisters were, apparently, a little more torqued up:

• "Males raised in 'female biased' litters mounted their partners less often than their male-rat peers."
• "The females also demonstrated less interest in males who had multiple sisters"
• "... the authors suggest that females may seem less novel, and therefore less intriguing, to male rats raised among females"

LOL.

Dammit, that's funny.
Well, huzzah to my sister-deprived brothers, and I most certainly do find females novel and intriguing.

QOTD2

"When the males matured, each was placed in a one-on-one situation with sexually primed females."
- rats without sisters

"Sexually primed females"... he he.
yow, bill

PS - Speaking of immature (cough)... I bought a set of all the Beavis & Butthead episodes, with the music videos, from this guy: http://bnb.host.sk/. The Beavis DVD's you buy at the store don't have any of the music videos; I suppose because of royalties and copyright and such. Anyway the DVD's from my guy are in AVI format, not a regular DVD, so you can only watch them on your computer. But they are of great quality. And Beavis & Butthead... best animated show ever. Easy.

The Big Red Machine

a) Best lineup ever

Sparky Anderson died yesterday.

No big statistical analysis here, just my impression. And all apologizes to Yankee fans. Sparky was the manager of the best starting lineup in baseball I've ever seen... The Big Red Machine. The zenith of the Big Red Machine was 1975 and 1976 when they won back-to-back World Series titles. Here's the Reds' starting lineup from April 8, 1976:

1. Pete Rose, 3B
2. Ken Griffey, RF
3. Joe Morgan, 2B
4. Johnny Bench, C
5. Tony Perez, 1B
6. George Foster, LF
7. Davey Concepcion, SS
8. Cesar Geronimo, CF

You have 4 HOF'ers in there: Rose, Morgan, Bench, Perez. Rose is the all-time hits leader. Many would vote Morgan and Bench as the best ever at their position. Foster has a monster bopper and won the NL  MVP in 1977. Concepcion and Geronimo were defensive stalwarts with 5 and 4 gold gloves, respectively.

Sparky's record managing the Reds for 9 years:

• Nearly a .600 winning percentage
• 1st or 2nd place in 8/9 years
• 2 World Series titles: 1975, 1976

And yes, they regularly gave my Cub the hearty beatdown that they deserved.

QOTD

"Me carrying a briefcase is like a hotdog wearing earrings."- Sparky Anderson, source

b) Today's WSJ
From today's WSJ... Mickey vs. Dora:

he he... yow, bill

Two Best Rants

a) Sole mate

He he.


QOTD

"Serious about finding my sole mate"
- POF profile

He he. God bless the Internet.

b) Rant #1

Here's Jim Cramer's famous Bernanke rant:

Jim Cramer - They Know Nothing

"They know nothing" is at about the 2 1/2 minute mark.
There isn't a smidge of posturing in the whole thing.

This is my absolute fave rant, and I'll never forget it because of one thing: Aug 3, 2007.

• Three months after this rant, the stock market topped and began its decline.
• In six months, Bear Stearns' $100+ stock was worthless.
• And a year later, the financial crisis shook the world.

Cramer's rant is: 1) emphatic and unequivocal, 2) spot on, and 3) way early/ahead of the curve.
I know Cramer is a love/hate thing for a lot of people, but no doubt that his rant is the best financial pop culture call of all time.

c) Rant #2

My 2nd fave rant sparked the Tea Party movement:

Rick Santelli - Tea Party Spark

This rant stands out for its impact and role in helping to create a new political movement. It is the tipping point. Regardless of your politics, the Tea Party is one of the most amazing American political phenomenon of our lives. I can't even tell you what's in 2nd place.

QOTD

"It was the best five minutes of my life"
- Rick Santelli, source

Odd that CNBC is the source for these two guys.

And speaking of cable networks, Fox News kicked ratings ass during election night (source):

1. Fox News = 7M viewers
2. All the networks (ABC, CBS, NBC) = 6M viewers each
3. CNN = 2.4M viewers

At some point, the (bogus) party line about Fox News not being news is going to change.
peace out... yow, bill

Giant win!

a) Giant win!
Giant win. Lincecum!

I still can't believe the Ranger scored just 1 run in two games at home.

Great series!

b) Bailouts

Some nice common sense from Germany... bond-holders should be liable when their investments go sour:

Finally someone in government is against Wall Street bailouts (too bad she's in Germany)

QOTD

"We won't allow only the taxpayers to bear all the costs of a future crisis."
- Angela Merkel, German Chancellor

c) Radical Dutch

When I think Dutch, I certainly don't think libertarian.
Well, at least in one area, bicycle helmets, the Dutch are more hard core than I am:

Getting Dutch Cyclists to Wear Helmets is Like Tilting at Windmills

Should there be a law requiring that people wear bicycle helmets.
Here's a list of bicycle helmet laws across the US.

I absolutely agree that bicycle helmets for adults should be optional.
But kids?
That's tougher. I see both sides. Kids can't consent to taking risk. But on the other hand, do we need more government fiddling?

d) Election Wrap

QOTD

"This is the land of opportunity, not the land of entitlement."
- Rick Santelli, CNBC guy whose rant sparked the Tea Party movement

QOTD2

"I feel assured that Mr. Santelli doesn't know what he's talking about."
- Robert Gibbs, Obama White House spokesman, source

There's an air of arrogance and entitlement that perhaps was dented yesterday.
And it's not just Obama. It's also Judy Biggert running on term limits a hundred years ago. It's Pat Quinn in Illinois, casually proposing we raise taxes 50%. It's a lot of people.

Perhaps nothing will change.
But it's worth a try.

QOTD3

"We're all very different people. We're not Watusi. We're not Spartans. We're Americans, with a capital 'A', huh? You know what that means? Do ya? That means that our forefathers were kicked out of every decent country in the world. We are the wretched refuse. We're the underdog. We're mutts! Here's proof: his nose is cold! But there's no animal that's more faithful, that's more loyal, more lovable than the mutt."
- Bill Murray, "Stripes"

huzzah... yow, bill

Flag pin

Sweet synchronicity this election morning.
I'm rummaging through my (crappy) t-shirt pile this morning and a gawd awful old t-shirt falls down from the shelf onto the floor. On it is my long, lost flag pin.
So, I slapped that puppy on and went to vote.
Funny how President Obama has inadvertently strengthened the symbolism of the flag pin.
And huzzah to that.

This was my first election voting one party. It was easy.
OK, voting for Judy Biggert (big fat liar) wasn't easy, but I did it.

The 2nd best part of election day is the media blackout.
smiling... yow, bill

Vote early. Vote often.

QOTD

"If not us, who?
And if not now, when?"
- Ronald Reagan, Jan 21, 1985, second inaugural address

Tomorrow. I'll be voting early and often.
usa... yow, bill

PS - The left rallied last weekend at the behest of a couple of comedians: a "rally to restore sanity".  The metaphor is too delicious.